Battle Studies
by lst4words
Summary: Bella is addicted to sex, drugs, and Edward but doesn't know it yet. Edward is in love with Bella, but doesn't know it yet. Inspired by John Mayer's Battle Studies.


Alright, so here we go again. Thanks to everyone who read Don't this is my first Twilight fan fiction and the characters are going to be a little...okay very AU.

This contains a sprinkle of lemony goodness, a lot of swearing, and some drug use. You have been warned.

I don't own any of the Twilight characters, and I don't own John Mayer or any of his masterful lyrics.

**Perfectly Lonely**

I woke up naked on a bathroom floor. Before you get all judgmental I don't do this often. At the same time I'm not going to lie and say that this is my first time.

I picked myself off of the floor, bracing myself on the sink. Staring at the mirror I couldn't even bring myself to look at the reflection. I racked my brain trying to think of how I always ended up back here, even though I promised myself that the last time was going to be that, the last time. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to find some sort of order. Next I pilfered the medicine cabinet looking for something that would end my headache. No such luck, knowing the owner it was probably used in last night's festivities.

I stumbled down the hallway, commanding my legs to work. They felt like jello that had gotten shaken up in preschoolers' lunchbox. Passing all of the comatose bodies slumped against the wall, the empty plastic cups associated with wild parties. I wished that I could remember what had gone on.

I opened the last door to the right, immediately spotting my Jimmy Choos. I looked around the room observing the contents. I couldn't count the number of times I had been in this exact spot thinking the exact same thing. I always come back, I couldn't stop, and I couldn't convince myself that I wanted to.

I jumped in the bed on top of Jacob biting him on his ear.

"Mmmm Becca, what are you doing" I stopped correcting him about my name months ago. I figured this was my chance to be someone else. I could step out of the box that I had created for myself years ago.

Reaching under the pillow, I pulled out a pair of black underwear with a kiss on his lips. Jacob was fun, an escape from the mundane. None of my friends would understand me…or Becca. They would try to change, no fix me. They wouldn't get that this is who I had become, and that I needed this.

I got off of the bed and bent over to pick my dress off of the floor. It was located between the mattress on the floor, bong that spilled sometime during the night, and right on top of the empty pizza box. I felt hardness between my legs from behind. Then a forceful hand pushed my panties to the side. First he rubbed himself along the outside of my lips, grazing my clit with his tip.

"Jacob, we can't do this. I really have to go."

"This is where we have a problem, you are saying one thing but this is saying something else" he emphasized this by pushing two fingers into me.

I was done and he knew it. After nine months of being with someone you tend to learn what they want, need, and crave. Sex was another thing that I craved; right up there with drugs. Jacob wasn't much of the boyfriend type, but he was good with his hands. What more could a girl ask for?

_I feel on top of the world wit you baby__  
__I want to__dance__and party tonight__  
__I feel on top of the world wit my lady_

"Fuck Edward!" I don't know if Edward had great or horrible timing

"What did you call me?" Jacob stopped and pulled away.

"Not you, my best friend is calling." I picked my dress up and adjusted my panties. Jacob lay back down on his bed, obviously defeated.

"How come you never stay and you know just hand out. We have been chilling for a couple of months; you just come over, get high, fuck and leave. I don't even know your last name, where you stay, or your favorite color."

"Come on Jacob, you know my rules." He gave me his puppy dog eyes. I had to get the hell out of here. "I'll call you." My famous line.

"What in another two months, come on Becca?" I walked over to him, kissed him on his cheek, and whispered in his ear. "It's Bella." I threw my purse over my shoulder and walked out of the door.

I took out my phone when I had gotten out to my car and started it up. Two missed calls from Alice, one from Emmett, and one from Edward. When I usually go on my trips I tend not to tell anyone where I was, or when I would be back, you think they would be used to it by now. I remember one time I had ended up on someone's floor in a completely naked in a different city with no idea how I had gotten there.

I took my clothes off at the door of the house that I shared with Alice, and Rose. Alice and I had been friends since birth. She spent our entire kindergarten year organizing my Barbie collection by color. I met Edward because of Alice. Edward is Alice's adopted brother, even though they are not technically related by blood; they still have this unspoken connection. I met Rose through Emmett (my stepbrother) our freshman year at State. The three of us work somehow, we balance each other out. Alice is eccentric, Rose is a bitch, and I am the closet drug addict. See, we work perfectly!

After my shower I laid down on my bed in my robe, not even bothering to dry my hair. I was exhausted, but I couldn't go to sleep worth shit. I looked over to the empty side of my bed. I've never woken up to anyone to snuggle with. I've never belonged to anyone and no one had ever belonged to me. I'm okay with that, I promise. I had no one to answer to; I was free to live my double life without feeling guilty. But there were time like this where I wanted someone, so I did the next best thing: Call Edward.

When it came to Edward, we usually have the same rules. I am the only female that is allowed to stay the night in his bed. He wasn't as cold and heartless as I am, but he is defiantly guarded. Females tend to think that if you have chemistry love will follow, males look for that spark to let them know that someone is the one for them. I think Edward is still looking for that one, but isn't everyone?

I held my phone up to my ear with my shoulder while I picked up my clothes from the hallway. There was no way I was going to sleep now.

"Hello?" He asked in a raspy voice. I must have woken him up; he had just called me two hours ago. Hopefully he didn't start in with the questions.

"Edward, come make me breakfast." I put on my best pouty voice.

"Fuck no Bella go back to sleep." Okay time to pull out the big cards, Edward made the best pancakes.

"Fine I guess certain pictures might find their way on facebook and then Alice will know what really happened to her BCBG dress." There was silence on the line so I decided to continue "What did you tell her again? Something about your non-existent friend Jason taking it and trying it on?"

"You said you were going to delete them!"

"And you swore you wore a size zero, people lay get over it. Now are you making eggs?"

"Fuck you, I'm on my way"

"Bring strawberries" I hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.

What is the world coming to when you have to blackmail your friends into being your personal slaves? When I had finished cleaning up I unwrapped the towel from my hair and threw it into the laundry room with the rest of my dirty clothes. My hair fell down my back and was going to annoy me really quick. I blow dried it so I wouldn't have that white woman left in the rain look.

The smell of food had escaped the kitchen and was moving down the hallway. I was bouncing with excitement, the only thing better than Edwards pancakes were Edwards pancakes high.

My coke was in my purse. This was cleverly disguised in a dental floss container. I wanted something more vintage like what the bitch had in Cruel Intentions but you had to work with what you got. I poured a little on my finger and was bringing it to my nose when Edward walked in.

"Bella are your napkins."

"Try the cabinet." I dropped what I had on my fingers onto the carpet.

"What's that?" His eyes glued to my hand

"Nothing, just floss" I flashed the container. "Please believe me" I thought to myself moving the floss behind my back.

"Are you doing drugs?" His face lit up with concern.

"No" I lied "Way to be all Pretty Woman on me Richard Gere." I put the container back in my purse and stared at the carpet where my precious coke was.

"That's silly. That would mean that you were the prostitute and we all know that's Rose." Edward and Rose had this common hatred for each other. It was just one of the quirks of our group. Edward was Alice's adopted brother, Emmett was my oaf stepbrother, and Alice dated Jasper.

"Well your majesty, breakfast awaits." He ushered me out of the room.

Esme and Carlisle had found Edwards real parents around the time that we were in the fifth grade. They decided that his real parents should have a second chance to get to know Edward. After a lot of tears and protests (mostly from mine and Alice's' half) Edward moved halfway across the world. Edward has only two loves in his life music which he found in England, and the other one was some girl here who lived two towns over. During one of his summers here he met a girl and it was pretty much love at first sight. Edward was crazy about her but never told anyone any details. Just as quick as she entered his life she left, we never asked any questions.

Even though he had discovered his love for music in England, he still missed his family in the states. He would talk to Carlisle and Esme every month and still called them mom and dad. That's how they came up with the idea to have Edward to go to school in England and the summer in Washington. Whenever he came back we always picked up where we left off, it was like he had never left.

My senior year he surprised the shit out of me. I was supposed to go to prom with a creep named Mike Newton who I was one hundred percent positive was going to try to get me naked by the first picture. I got ready over Alice's house (she had an arsenal of makeup and hairspray), and we were on our way to pick up Mike (there was no way I was letting that perv anywhere near my parents). When we had gotten out of the house and to the limo Edward stepped out and opened my door for me.

"I couldn't let my sisters best friend go to prom without me"

We were speechless "Our parents coordinated the whole thing, now close your mouth we are going to be late."

"Bella…Bella will you be joining me this morning." We were already sitting down at the table with food in front of us.

"What, I'm sorry! I was thinking about senior year" I started pushing my food around my plate. Now that I was coming down food didn't seem to interest me that much. I just wanted to sleep.

"Forget writer, maybe you should be a full-time space cadet. Anyway what about it? Remember how you wasted you were prom night. Are you finally going to admit that you tried to take advantage of me?"

"Oh you are such a liar, like I would ever be that desperate." I put my plate in the sink. "Let's watch a movie and paint each other's toes." I wanna see how many of his buttons I can push.

"You know I hate you right." He followed me into the living room and put on The Proposal and sat down on the couch with me.

I put my head in his lap and he started stroking my head massaging my scalp. You know I might actually consider dating if more guys were like Edward.

_And I'd like to think the wrongs led me to a love so strong._

A/N: Thanks for reading and all that other bullshit. I don't have a beta yet so bear with me (if anyone wants to do it let me know). My playlist for this chapter is obviously John Mayer – Perfectly Lonely, LMFAO – La la la.


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